It was Jan 12, 2012 and the judge had just sentenced me to a military correctional facility for 50 months. My view of my future was dark and the climate of my destiny was very cold.
I remember thinking:
- How am I going to survive this kind of distance away from my only child?
- How am I going to raise my son from prison?
- Will he still love me when I return home?
- Will I survive this storm mentally?
I wept all the way to Naval Consolidated Brig Miramar, my new home and cried for months while beginning my new lifestyle.
For the first 7 months, I had a hard time adjusting to my lack of freedom. I couldn’t wake up when I wanted to, I was told what to do and when to do it, I didn’t control what I ate anymore and I was lonely. I hadn’t made friends at this point. I missed my family, especially my son; and the smell of fresh air and warmth of the sun came far and few in between. My life had turned upside down and I was drowning in my circumstance.
I remember praying to God one night and asking him for a blessing that would help me through that particular chapter of my life. A month later, that blessing came and it was Leap to Success!
A group of women came to my facility and did an evening session of women’s empowerment. At that point, it was the most powerful gathering I had been a part of since I arrived. The women who hosted the session were full of genuine concern for us incarcerated women. The women who participated (graduates of Leap to Success) were full of resilience. As they courageously shared their stories with strangers, I was touched by their positive outlook on their futures. Although the session only lasted a few hours, I left with hope that sparked my flame to overcome my state of desolation.
The very following year Leap to Success was coming to visit us again, but for a much longer period this time! Those wonderful women who hosted the evening session before, Dana Bristol-Smith, Michele Cooney and Edie Willey were now hosting the program Leap to Confidence for the very first time at Naval Consolidated Brig Miramar. This time we would be spending six weeks with them; growing into the powerful women we were but just didn’t realize it.
One of my favorite lessons learned during this seminar was, “You Spot It, You Got It” taught by Edie.
This lesson made me realize that the very positive qualities I see in others I have within myself.
My other favorite lesson was “I Choose To”.
This lesson helped me realize that positive perspective is paramount to conquering any battle in life.
In this lesson, we changed the phrase “I Have To” to “I Choose To”, and using it on something as small as “cleaning my cell” makes a world of difference in how you execute a task. Michele did an excellent job of making that lesson fun for us!
The most impactful lesson for me was writing affirmations. Dana shared with us bookmarks of written affirmations that previous women in the program had published. They were powerful! She then challenged us to do a collage of our own affirmations and present this masterpiece on our graduation day. This was the most touching experience for me while being incarcerated because the sisterhood in our dorm was very destitute and lacking unity. But this assignment brought us together.
As we came together and all participated in the collage, we learned things about each other and recognized that we all have at least one gift within us that can be a blessing to someone else.
We began to understand that we are all special women and together that scary journey of incarceration can be a lot easier if we learn to genuinely accept and care for one another.
All of these realizations wouldn’t have been possible without the program Leap to Confidence!
Now that I am home, I still refer to my materials and I find myself applying those tools/lessons learned on a daily basis.
Leap To Confidence wasn’t just my blessing during my storm; it was my MIRACLE!
I thank God for Dana, Michele, and Edie for stepping out on faith and coming into the prison to empower distraught women as I once was. This program is and will always be a memorable part of my life!
We thank our friends at SDG&E who make this program possible. With their support, we are thrilled to continue our work during 2015 at the Brig.
