I recently visited a church that had a practice called sharing joys and sorrows. People came up to the front of the room and shared a joy or sorrow, or both. It got me thinking about how difficult it can be to share what is going on in our lives when times are tough.
It seems that it is easier to bear our burdens alone-quietly.
When we admit that life is difficult, that we are dealing with a problem, or particularly when we aren’t sure about how a situation is going to get resolved, it’s easier to suffer in silence.
It takes courage and strength to open up and be vulnerable.
I’ve heard the saying from alcoholics anonymous that we are only as sick as our secrets. And, that once we start to share our secrets, they lose their potency, they lose power over us.
Are you holding on to secrets of unhappiness, secrets of denial, or perhaps just ignoring your problems and thinking that they will go away on their own?
The only problem with that approach is that problems just don’t go away on their own; they hang around and like dust bunnies under the furniture, they find friends and they multiply.
The ability to share the painful parts of life is one of the things that I admire so much about the women who come to our programs. They have come to a point in their lives where they know that it’s important to reach out for help, to build trust with others and share their secrets. I see it over and over again that as they share, they get lighter and more alive.
After the tears, smiles and laughter come back. Healing has taken place and there is now some room for light and joy.
What are you holding onto that you are ready to let go of?
Who can you share it with? I encourage you to find someone to speak or write to. You are not alone and if you feel that you are, look around there are people who are ready and willing to support you.
All that you need is to have the courage to ask.
