I can really identify with Filomena in her blog when she describes trying to reach the top of the Hill of Self-Confidence, looking self-confident to the world while at the same time dealing with that nagging voice inside her head telling her she can’t make it. She says, “If the world had a looking glass into my soul at these moments you would have seen me running down those stairs.” Ditto. And not only that, but usually, once I’m at the bottom of those stairs, I’m the one wandering aimlessly around the Forest of Low Self-Confidence, or worse, wallowing in the Mire of No Self-Confidence. And sometimes it takes a really long time to get out of that mess and back on track.
In my quest to learn more about confidence I am doing quite a bit of reading and research in addition to my mini-interviews. I have read some amazingly inspirational quotes and stories, and am realizing that this endeavor to better understand confidence– how to get it, where it comes from, why some people seem to have been born with it while others can only grab a handful at a time– may turn into a lifelong endeavor. That’s just fine by me, because it pretty much already has been. And unfortunately, most days my rocky relationship with self-confidence usually doesn’t even allow me to arrive at the point of climbing up the steep hill. Actually, there are many times I can’t even find the darn hill!
So, in thinking of the women we help through our Leap to Success programs, I am wondering what are the best words, or the best examples to help them begin to first, find their hill, and then begin to climb it so that they can begin reshaping their lives and their futures? I was reminded of the answer I got from Jill, a 2011 graduate of the Transformational Leadership Program, and someone who continues to inspire me and many others through her story of triumph over adversity.
When I asked Jill what she would do if she were more confident, she answered, “I would try new things that frighten me.” Her answer is similar to my own answer. I have always recognized that fear is a huge underlying issue when it comes to self-confidence and moving forward in life, but I haven’t always known, and still don’t always know how to push through that fear. But, having learned the value of positive affirmations, I was led to one on the subject of fear and self-confidence by best-selling author Louise Hay that pretty much says it all.
Louise says, “I am not my fears. It is safe for me to live without guarding and defending myself all the time. When I feel afraid, I open my heart and let the love dissolve the fear.” Let love dissolve the fear, huh? I guess in this situation, thinking about self-confidence, what we would need is more self-love to begin to dissolve that fear and build more self-confidence, right?
Won’t you join in our Confidence Project conversation and let us know some of the things you love about yourself or some of the ways you open your heart to let love dissolve your own fears? I’ll even go first, which is something I rarely volunteer to do, as the fear of saying something stupid usually requires me to wait until last to offer my response, or often times even relegates me to complete silence. But, I am willing to give the affirmation a chance to work on me and in me.
One of the things I love about myself is my ability to find something to smile about, even in the worst of times. What about you?
